11 December 2009

Dear Bilerico....

I hate you. Please go away, and take your smug cissexual "allies" with you.

I really can't muster many words at the moment. After hearing about [TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of epic transphobia] your latest failure, I'm heading home for the afternoon for some hot tea and a soothing bath. Maybe I'll hide under the covers for a while.

Seriously? This shit [I'm not linking to it, wade over to the original piece at your own risk] is a hazard to my mental health. I can't be the only trans person who feels this way. I'd add that your shit is also a hazard to my physical health, given the logical consequences of having yet another public "dialogue" about such "challenging" issues.

And yes, I do struggle with mental illness, and yes, I am seeing people about it. Look, I know a substantial portion of the population hates me, views me as broken, defective, deviant, and dangerous. I know that there are plenty of folks out there who, either through privilege or active hostility, want to hurt me and my family. I know this, because it's fucking happened. And yes, I know that plenty of supposed cissexual "allies" speak harshly about me. This shit can be hard to deal with, you know?

Surely, you know what it's like to live on guard. You've had practice steeling yourself against the next, unpredictable blow in a society that most of the time barely tolerates your existance. You know it's stressful and painful. I know this, because prior to several months ago, I regularly read many of your posts and the accompanying comment threads. Ironic is not the word I'm looking for. Cruel, perhaps.

Stop digging. I don't want to hear you talk about fostering dialogue (on whether my identity is valid), or challenging readers (about whether bigotry is acceptable), or about how you're not a safe space (Good for you! It must be so fun and "edgy" for you guys to not have to worry about people who aren't you). This is all so last week for me. And every week.

Thus, I ask you to STFU already. Seriously.

H/T: C. L. Minou, via Shakesville

N. B.: Hate is a strong word, and I'm not entirely sure that it's the correct word for what I'm feeling. I need time to process. Lest anyone Bilerico apologists take this as evidence of my hateful, unbalanced nature, permit me to remind you that I'm not the one passing off hate speech as part of a "debate".

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